MetroMan: In This Life, Two Things Are Involved!

I am into a kind of job you neither have holidays nor weekends. Whenever a client calls, you must say ‘Yes, I’m on my way’ even when you’re just getting out of bed or washing your car!
That was what happened today. So I quickly cleaned my vehicle and headed out.
It was a Saturday, so I expected a traffic free ride.
I was not disappointed, all the way to Berger from wherever was a fun ride, especially when I kept nodding my head to whatever music blasting out of the radio!
Having finished the meeting, I decided not to waste anymore time, jumped into my vehicle and started my journey back home.
I was taking in the newly renovated Berger garage with street arts and creative architectural works when I almost stopped suddenly.
Gathered a few distance off the road where people shouting excitedly, obviously watching a performance.
I took a quick glance at my watch, looked for where I could park without been towed and decided to see the object of attraction.
Alas! It was a mad man!
“So why all these commotions over a man in need of help?” I asked a neighbour bystander.
“Oga, he’s not just a mad man o,” he replied, “He’s Basketmouth second”.
“You meant the popular comedian?”
“Exactly!” the excited onlooker responded.
I felt offended. How can you compare a billionaire joker with a madman!
So I edged forward to have a better view and I saw the guy in his 40s. “Why God?!” I wondered, “Such an handsome man!”
‘Basket’ as he’s popularly called was saying something.
I listened to him and I was surprised.
Basket: If you leave your wife at home and you always travel for days to work, two things are involved!
Immediately, I could relate to why he was called Basket!
Basket: Your wife would either fight with the whole neigbours or friends with them.
I stopped in my tracks, because I was already bored, heading straight back into my car.
Basket: If your wife fights the whole neigbours, two things are involved. She would either recruit you to also fight them or pretend everything is fine.
The audience comprised of all ages and genders. I was wondering what could be so special about the guy that we all stood in the scotching afternoon sun to listen to him!
Basket: If you’re initiated into the fight, two things are involved. It’s either she’s hiding something or she needs your support.
This is a waste of time! I need to head back to my car, I was thinking to myself.
Basket: If she’s hiding something, then one thing is involved. She is having an affair right on your matrimonial bed!
I was petrified!
When I recovered from the shock, I felt my pockets for my car keys and phone.
With the car keys in hand, I raced to my vehicle while praying the obvious wouldnt have happened!
Opened the front door and turn over the whole vehicle before the obvious eventually dawn on me… my phone is gone again?!